I have a general question for the group. I've heard so much about people approaching their "spiritual mentor" when they have an important decision to make or a stressful issue to deal with. Assuming a spiritual mentor is a person in a leadership position, or at the least is someone people look up to as a leader, what should a person look for in deciding who would be an appropriate candidate for "spiritual mentor?"
That is a broad question. Generally a mentor is someone who walks with you over time, and not merely to help you make a decision. For making decisions, you simply need an advisor or counselor. A mentor is someone who walks alongside your life and helps you grow and develop in a particular area of your life. As a leader, you might want to find someone who is older and more experienced who clearly demonstrates proficiency in an area you want to grow in. Biblically, some people look to the apostle Paul as a mentor to Timothy. The word "mentor," however, is not in the Bible. I do have some concerns about the tendency to try and find one person who will walk with you over time as your mentor. The problem with that is that they can only teach you what they know. And, they may pass on their weaknesses to you. I tend to suggest that you look for several people you feel you can learn specific things from. So, if you want to develop your prayer life, find someone (of the same sex) who you admire their prayer life and then arrange to meet with them and to learn. Someone else is a strong leader. So meet with them to learn what you can about leadership. Customize your learning. It is rare you can find one person who is great at everything!
Mentors, advisers, colleagues, Christian friends are all good for getting perspectives and advice, but too much dependency upon them rather than on spending time in prayer and seeking the heart of God through the indwelling Spirit is settling for 2nd best. Seeking and searching for God is a spiritual discipline many believers have not developed. Don’t settle for a mentor or adviser when you should be seeking and searching for God Himself. Advisers and mentors should be able to point you back to God and give you good perspectives in areas you may have blind spots. They should be experienced, knowledgeable, prayerful and godly, and be able to help you discern God’s activity in your life.
I’ve discovered and developed relationships with several “spiritual mentors” over the years. It’s interesting, though, that none of them were introduced to me as, “Here’s someone you can trust or look up to as a good spiritual mentor.” In fact, none of my spiritual mentors are even aware that I look up to them as a mentor. But, the Holy Spirit has fully impressed upon me to watch them minister, listen to them preach and teach, listen as they pray, watch them as they daily interact with ordinary people, etc.
Those in my church congregation know who my spiritual mentors are. I often quote them in my sermons and teachings.
Sometimes, my spiritual mentors have slipped and let me down (in regards to my expectations of how they should behave or respond). But then God told me to keep watching to see how they recover or how God moves next in their life… I know that I make mistakes as does everyone… Part of what a spiritual mentor does is model for us how we should recover from our slips and misses.
In ALL THINGS, I benchmark my own behaviors and those of my spiritual mentors against the gospels and the model of Jesus Christ. Thank God that he has given us spiritual leaders who are willing to daily seek God’s wisdom and demonstrate a close walk with God in all that they do. Who knows, perhaps someone is even looking at MY life and viewing ME as a spiritual mentor?
Here’s a great lesson that goes along with being a “spiritual mentor”. We should strive to be blameless and should learn from those who live a blameless life before God. … But what does it mean to be “blameless”? Henry Blackaby says it well in this devotional thought:
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“Blameless”
Daily Devotional for Wednesday, June 26th, 2013
There was a man in the land of Uz, whose name was Job; and that man was blameless and upright, and one who feared God and shunned evil. Job 1:1
There is a tremendous sense of freedom in living a blameless life. Job was blameless. Neither Satan nor any person could accuse him of wrongdoing. Even through the most rigorous tests, Job remained above reproach.
The apostle Paul said he diligently sought to relate to others in such a way that he would never regret his actions (Acts 24:16). This desire should be ours as well. The Book of Revelation indicates that those in heaven will be blameless (Rev. 14:5). This condition does not mean they never sinned on earth, but that God forgave their sins and granted them His righteousness.
Blameless does not mean perfect. It means that in every situation you do the correct thing. If you sin against someone, you confess your sin and ask for forgiveness. If you sin against God, you repent and begin to obey Him (Prov. 28:13). Often the way you handle your sin is as important as the sin itself. When you become aware of your transgression, seek to be blameless in the way you deal with it. If you attempt to conceal your sin, deny it, justify it, or blame others for it, you make the original offense much worse.
Have you been blameless in your dealings with God and others? When you have failed to treat people as you should, have you responded with integrity as you reconciled with them? If you are to be blameless, you must do everything in your power to correct any wrongdoing and reconcile any broken relationship. There is a profound sense of peace for the one whose way is blameless!