There seems to be a fine line in evangelism as to when we should give primary focus to Relationship vs. when we should give primary focus to Spiritual Truth and Obedience. Is there a rule-of-thumb that would help a spiritual leader know when to focus on one over the other? Clearly BOTH are important to God... but sometimes, it seems, they stand at odds with each other.
Unfortunately, although there may seem like there is a disconnect between between the two; there shouldn't be. When our relationship is as it should be, then truth and obedience will be the natural outcome. When the Rich You Ruler said he wanted a relationship with Jesus, Jesus rightly judged the truth that money was his real god. So we immediately spoke the truth and demanded unconditional obedience. To be in relationship was to obey. But today, some people mistakenly claim to be focusing on the relationship without following through on God's truth in obedience. Biblically this is impossible. The Pharisees tried to emphasize truth and righteous living apart from a relationship with Christ, also impossible.
My wife and I were recently in disagreement on this matter over an 18 year old young man who was raised in the church by Christian parents but is now pulling away from church and Christianity claiming that the commands of the bible are too legalistic for him. My wife, being gifted with the ministry of loving young people to Christ, argues that what this young man needs is less lecture of bible teachings and more love and acceptance. My argument, based on my gifts of preaching and teaching, is that this young man needs to be held accountable for his rebellion against God and needs firm discipline.
My wife would cite the story of the Prodigal Son noting that the father received the prodigal son back without any lectures or discipline but with love and acceptance. I would cite the story of the Rich Young Ruler whom Jesus sent away with sadness of heart because he chose money as his priority over his relationship with Jesus.
In our own lives, we know that a true relationship with God equates to obedience. But, in regards to evangelism and reaching out to the lost, it’s more difficult to know if the person is in need of love and acceptance or if they are in need of someone to hold them accountable to spiritual truth and obedience.
When we look at the chronology in the gospel of John chapter 6, Jesus begins with a focus on relationship by caring for the basic needs of those who followed him (the feeding of the 5,000). The next day, however, when the same crowds gathered to follow him, he began to preach spiritual truth to them (calling himself the Bread of Life). The crowd began to grumble about his teachings and, as John 6:66 states it, “After this many of his disciples turned back and no longer walked with him.” Jesus had spoken the truth in love and it offended his followers. However, we do not see Jesus pursuing them and asking them to come back. He didn’t attempt to be “more loving and accepting” of those who were pulling away. Instead he said, “It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life.” (John 6:63)
I know that I could be more loving toward people; and I THANK GOD that He gave me a wife who compliments and completes my shortcomings in this area (I regularly ask God to help me have a more compassionate heart). It is often a very difficult thing to discern who is an unbelieving seeker needing simply to be loved and accepted… vs. who is a rebellious, cool-hearted Christian needing to be held accountable to obedience and the spiritual truths of the Word.
Ultimately, I believe the answer to this question for an evangelist or pastor is: it is the indwelling Holy Spirit who gives the best response in each situation. God knows the heart and mind of each individual and uses His Spirit to guide us. “for the Holy Spirit will teach you in that very hour what you ought to say.” ~ Luke 12:12
I’d really like to hear what you other SLN Members think about this issue. … Please share your thoughts. God Bless.